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nmesae

Ripping my biggest painting... and why

After getting out of my artist's block and painting to respond to the question "If a happy memory is forgotten, is it still happy?" I found myself drawn to the concept of memories as objects with attributes... so I focused on these childhood memories to be forgotten by my mom's parents.


Without possessing or experiencing these memories, I came up with a list of characteristics these memories would have.


They would look and feel warm because Colombia is warm and her childhood was happy. They would be full of my mom's favorite colors: yellows, oranges and pinks. They would contain elements of the landscape: mountains everywhere, tropical plants, and the sun.


But because they are memories that are being forgotten, they would look jumbled... Neurodegeneration and the passage of time would make them drip, fade, and have loose threads.


Te Guardo los Olvidos (WIP) Acrylic Paint on Unstretched Canvas

I painted for a week, adding layers and colors and stitching and fading and having a good time. But then I walked into the studio one day and decided that the painting wasn't representative of the memories and feelings I wanted to convey. The painting was too whole. Too soft and joyful. Too landscape-y and almost too decorative.


So I took it off the wall, and I ripped it. Ripping canvas is one of the best sensations ever. Its clean, easy, and makes a delicious sound. As I was doing this, I realized it was always going to happen. Sometimes art has to include destruction in order to depict its subject more faithfully.


Te Guardo los Olvidos (WIP) Acrylic Paint, Embroidery Thread and Synthetic String on Ripped Unstretched Canvas

And sometimes, things look better when in pieces.


.... More on the evolution of this piece in the next blog post.

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