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nmesae

Open Studio December 2023

This Open Studio was an opportunity for the cohort to share their works in progress and ask peer and tutors what was working and what needed more thought. I decided to show two different, both of them included layers of engraved perspex and painted perspex. They had different bases to hold up the perspex, and different styles of painting and engraving.


We had an informal Crit before the studio opened to the public and the main feedback I got was along these lines:

  • The work brings you in closer, to try and see better (thats good)

  • the layers of engraving mixed with layers of painting add another dimension

  • have you tried a warmer color palette?

  • make it bigger so that it becomes more immersive (this was said a lot)

  • must decide if I want the base to disappear or to become a more intentional piece of the work

  • think about lighting and how it can elevate/change the work


Memories Repressed, Engraved and Painted Perspex, Wood

"Memories Repressed" is a piece about the moments around the time my brother and I were born in Colombia. It was a rather dangerous time, and shortly after, my parents left the country with us. The image engraved here is from an old photograph, it shows my young dad playing with my brother who must've been a bit more than a year old. My mom took the photo with an old camera they had, and that day they were in the park in Bogota near their first apartment. At the time, my mom was pregnant with me. I asked my mom and dad whether they remember that day, and they said they did, that it was a "good day". But if you look closely at my father's expression, there are deep lines of worry on his face. Behind the engraved layer there a few painted layers, one with an image of a brain from a "Dysconnectivity in PTSD" study, and the other layers show dispersing swirling colors and dots.


The concept behind this piece was to capture a seemingly mundane moment in my family's life, but showcase the layers of memory and trauma present. Both my brother and I were there in that moment, although neither of us remember. And although my parents say they remember the day as a good one, it is evident in my father's countenance that they were carrying a heavy weight, a hyper-vigilance, at all times. Memories and behaviors are passed on through nature and nurture. Unresolved trauma is passed on, and the stories about our origins we tell can be beneficial or harmful.


My brother and I carry these memories now too, along with my parents. We also carry some of the layered nuanced feelings that were present that day. We share these things with my parents, although we didn't chose to inherit them. But, my parents didn't chose to experience them, no one would have.


Time Passed, Engraved and Painted Perspex, Clay

Long story short, this piece was an answer to a question. More like, a question to answer another question.


My grandfather has dementia and Alzheimer's, so he's forgetting a lot of his past and his present. Sometimes, heart-wrenchingly, he has lucid moments where he knows who when and where he is, and realizes he's forgetting things and "losing it". Those moments are incredibly distressing for him, but he eventually slips back into a more peaceful confused state and it passes.


During one of those lucid moments, he told my grandmother, who is always by his side, "I'm forgetting everything Olguita" and she chuckles and says, "How nice, I wish I didn't remember everything".


My mom told me this over the phone, and it made me very sad, but also relieved in a way. So, the question is,


Is forgetting peaceful, or is it sad?

Is it rest or it loss?


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